Journalism in Verse – EST. 2016

The family of Nicholas Sandmann, 16, is suing The Washington Post, accusing the newspaper of targeting the Covington Catholic High School student for political purposes. Sandmann is seen here along with Native American activist Nathan Phillips on Jan. 18.

This Poem, If Accepted, May Cost Me $250 Million Dollars

in Politics/U.S. by

It’s not the kid’s fault but his genes’;
he has resting smug face.
I have resting bemused-interest face, myself,
a trait and a trial resulting in accidental timeshares
and vast quantities of anecdotes about real estate,
dentistry, and 401(k)s.

My poem isn’t science, of course. It’s art.
I made it up!
I’ve no interest in the straightening of facts;
ergo, “FAKE VERSE!!!”

And now that a Justice says
we’re yet too free to libel,
it feels inevitable that the Kentucky Poetry Courts
will find my “nonfunny, inappropriately ironic,
and unrhymed-in-the-‘modern’-way
attack” on a minor worthy of punishment,
two hundred fifty mill around my neck,
sinking me past the red-capped waves
to the bottom of our national Oh Say Can You Sea,
to kneel in the silt of our Founders’ ashes.



Teen in Lincoln Memorial protest sues Washington Post for $250 million [Reuters]
Clarence Thomas joins Donald Trump’s crusade to “open up” libel laws [Slate]

Theric Jepson is the author of the novel Byuck and over one hundred published poems, short stories, essays, and comics. He still does not know any better.

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