Journalism In Verse

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#EATLIKEANDY

in Culture by

Once I ate a hamburger
in a film.

Now I’m eating a hamburger
in an ad
for a fast food chain.

The smiling king prepared
a seat for me at
the table where
I would be eating
the hamburger.

Heinz ketchup is the blood
of America.

You can wear a wig like me, Andy,
and eat your own hamburger.

Eating is an art.

I am so happy,
though I am a ghost,

though they pay me
only in ghost burgers.

I would gladly pay you
Tuesday
for a hamburger today
said Wimpy.

The wig is white,
it makes you look like
you just saw a ghost.

We are all
cartoon ghosts famous
for however long
it takes
to eat a hamburger.

Hamburglar made an art of stealing them.

‘Until the cows come home’
is ‘a very long time.’

I never lost control
of my image. The wig,
the I’m-not-here stare.

I didn’t think
I would be so hungry
in the afterlife.

I thought I would live
forever.

I was right.

But somebody made me eat
the burger I already ate.

I said, “No thanks, I’m full,”

but the suits said,
“You look so skinny
Andy. Have another
hamburger.”

Like they were my
mother or something.

 


Burger King wants you to ‘Eat like Andy’—but he would have preferred a Big Mac [The Art Newspaper]


Joseph Pascutazz. Grew up in rural, Ohio. Lived in a trailer park in Pennsylvania. Fled to a Zen Monastery in upstate NY. Graduated from Bennington College’s writing program. Living in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

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