in Culture by

Once I ate a hamburger
in a film.

Now I’m eating a hamburger
in an ad
for a fast food chain.

The smiling king prepared
a seat for me at
the table where
I would be eating
the hamburger.

Heinz ketchup is the blood
of America.

You can wear a wig like me, Andy,
and eat your own hamburger.

Eating is an art.

I am so happy,
though I am a ghost,

though they pay me
only in ghost burgers.

I would gladly pay you
for a hamburger today
said Wimpy.

The wig is white,
it makes you look like
you just saw a ghost.

We are all
cartoon ghosts famous
for however long
it takes
to eat a hamburger.

Hamburglar made an art of stealing them.

‘Until the cows come home’
is ‘a very long time.’

I never lost control
of my image. The wig,
the I’m-not-here stare.

I didn’t think
I would be so hungry
in the afterlife.

I thought I would live

I was right.

But somebody made me eat
the burger I already ate.

I said, “No thanks, I’m full,”

but the suits said,
“You look so skinny
Andy. Have another

Like they were my
mother or something.


Burger King wants you to ‘Eat like Andy’—but he would have preferred a Big Mac [The Art Newspaper]

Joseph Pascutazz. Grew up in rural, Ohio. Lived in a trailer park in Pennsylvania. Fled to a Zen Monastery in upstate NY. Graduated from Bennington College’s writing program. Living in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.